A friend of mine visited me a couple of nights ago to de-clutter her mind. Nothing really serious, I guess she just needed to talk and be with someone who isn't from advertising but could relate to advertising stories.
After some salad, several tacos, bottles of coke and sticks of cigarette we found ourselves talking about our exes (and other people's exes) and how they had evolved since the time we went out with them. It started off with her bumping into a college ex whom she had not seen nor heard from since their break-up - who turned out to be now married with 3 kids. While they were talking, she realized that he was not the "conyo"/"sosyal" guy she knew, and actually told the ex that she was happy about the change.
This got me sharing about my own college ex. Now, before I go on, I just want to warn you that some of you might find what I'm about to say offensive, shallow or downright evil, but hey, this is just my and my friend's shared opinion (oh and my hubby's as well).
Just to give you an idea of my ex's profile (which might help you understand my reaction later): back in college he was an achiever, a dean's lister, active in school orgs and activities. Imagine my reaction when I found out that he ended up marrying someone who just didn't seem to be at the same caliber as me, or even the ex that came before me (the latter i ended up being good friends with, but that's a different story)! I was absolutely insulted! I mean, I'd understand if she was stunningly pretty, at least! But she wasn't! Not very bright and not very pretty (I know, it sounds harsh but I actually met her, so I'm as objective as I can get). I just couldn't understand it. My friend said, "baka naman mabait" and I'm like "so?". This was a few years back and until now, I still feel insulted. But I tell myself "hey, that's his life...and wife".
BUT! It didn't end there. Last night, I found out (don't ask how) that this very same ex is not doing very well in his own career either! He's been with this company for over 10 years now and he's still at the entry level! Now I'm not just insulted, I'm appalled! Embarrassed to even admit that I went out with him! To think, he's one of those my family liked! Plus, he's tripled (or maybe more!) his size (but hey, that happens)! I guess I just wonder what happened to the achiever I once knew?!
Isn't it insulting or embarrasing or humiliating or mind-boggling to find out that an ex (no matter how your relationship ended) replaced you with someone who's (1) ugly (they don't have to be drop dead gorgeous, just not ugly); (2) not so intelligent; (3) annoying and conceited. Worse part is if you find out that this person was either one of the abovementioned AND ended up cheating on your ex (now that's vindication, if that ex cheated on you, hehe)! Don't get me wrong. I have no illusions whatsoever about my exes (not just because i'm already married, but because it's been ages ago). But I somehow genuinely wish that they would end up or have ended up with someone I think they deserved.
Moreso, isn't it sad to find out that an ex (whom you thought you knew so well) isn't living the kind life that you thought they'd be living? Exes are a part of our histories. I believe they are somehow a reflection of who we are (just like the cliche "tell me who your friends are, and i will tell you who you are"). I guess that's why I can't help but be affected in one way or another with news that get to me about them.
Thank goodness none of my exes will get to feel this way. I'm sure they all know that the girl they once loved and took care of (i can say this because none of my exes cheated on me. break ups were just simply about irreconcilable differences. i know in my heart they all genuinely loved me), is happily living her life with someone who truly loves and takes care of her.
