Tale of Two Loves

I wasn't feeling very well over the 3-day weekend, so Myke and I stayed home and watched some videos. Two of the films we watched showed two faces of love which got me thinking ...

Closer

I don't understand how people can be in love with someone yet want to be with someone else! "Wanting your cake and eat it too" is just plain selfish (I just hate two-timing jerks!). At the same time, I don't know why people stay with someone even if they're in love with someone else! Playing "martyr" will not get you to heaven. I think it's not right when you're asked whether to go with the one you love or the one who loves you. Either way, people get hurt and that just isn't fair nor right. Look at what happened to the characters in the film, they all ended up alone and miserable (and not alone but miserable) .

Shall we dance?

"People get married because they need a witness to their life". I love this line from the movie because it perfectly captures the essence of our being in a relationship. Not only do we want to take care of each other as we grow old, but we want each other to make sure that our life does not go unnoticed. When I was single, living independently, constantly dating, I knew that if singleblessedness was my destiny, I would be happy. And yes, I was honestly happy being single. But I found the witness to my life and I'm not complaining. It feels great! But as the moral of the film would remind us, "Never lose yourself". I guess at one point in our lives, we fall hopelessly in love and lose ourselves in the process. And even if you end up in a relationship that's perfect, you tend to channel all your energy, thoughts and interests to the relationship and forget to nurture yourself. You end up constantly craving for something which can sometimes jeopardize a relationship. Just like Mr. John Clark.

In college, a friend and I would constantly discuss whether love or commitment is more important in a relationship. Years after college and several relationships after, I learned that a healthy relationship is where a couple can continously grow as a couple and as individuals. It takes more than just love and commitment. There's loyalty, trust, honestly, sacrifice, fidelity, compromise, etc. A lot of hardwork, I should say, but it's all worth it when the one you're with and the one you love is one and the same person.

We might see different faces of love as we go along, but I believe that it each says only one thing -- it is the greatest feeling in the world when you find the one that's right for you.