Next question, please!

Attended a baptism last Sunday and got to see former officemates who ALL asked me, "Ikaw, kelan ka (mag-b-baby)?" or "May laman na ba (referring to my tummy)?" (Years before that was "When are you getting married?", and before that, "Do you have a boyfriend?" or "Why are you still single?", and so on. You get the picture.)

And when I answer "No, none yet." or "Maybe next year." People are quick to react, "Why? Dapat ngayon na! How old are you? O, you're not getting any younger!" (Sometimes I get slightly upset and tell them off by saying, "if you want one so bad, then go make one!")

Do people ask these questions for small talk? Heck, whatever happened to "How are you? Or the weather?" Are they just curious? Curiosity can sometimes, really, kill the cat. I mean, what if you touch a sensitive nerve with those questions? Like when she wants to have a baby but can't have one. Or is it the next logical thing to ask?

I know, I know that once one is married, logically a baby will follow. But the timing depends on when the couple feels that they are ready to have one. And that, I believe needs to be respected.

Every decision, every move I have made in my life was carefully thoughtout, weighed and followed a critical path schedule (give or take a few delays and advances) -- which university to go to, what course to take, when to have a boyfriend, whether/when to break-up/reconcile with one, what career to pursue, when to live on my own, when to enjoy singleblessedness, when to move jobs, when to get married -- all done with calculations I deemed best for me (yes, even my spur-of-the-moment moves).

That is why I've never had regrets in my life. And I definitely do not want to regret the arrival of my own child.

Therefore, the same process goes with having a baby. Proper timing is key. (of course, God still has the final say, but we do what we can to follow the timing we want.) For reasons my husband and I share.

What I always tell my friends who ask me the same questions above, it's similar to having guests at home. When you have unexpected ones, you don't turn them away, you're glad that they're there, but you get stressed thinking of what to serve them, quickly fixing the house, fixing yourself to look presentable, running around like a headless chicken before you can attend to them properly. But when you are expecting them, you carefully plan what to put on the dining table, prepare the house and yourself ahead of time so that we they arrive, you can relax, sit down and spend time with them.

And until that time comes, I (together with my husband) will continue to prepare myself and our home for our future child. So, quit it with the questions and just be pleasantly surprised with the events that will unfold. (Besides, I've only been married for 5 months! I'm still adjusting and enjoying my new role as a wife!)